You Never Know, Do You?

As a teacher, I put myself to a lots of suprises every day.

Be it will cause a heartache,
an unpleasant headache,
a tear in the eye (in the toilet),
an unwanted disappoinment,

a draw of smile on your face,
a tinge of pride when the students able to answer simple questions correctly,
or the most pleasant one (that I wish happen every day)
a small gesture made by my students that touches my heart.
(I am even smiling while typing this)

In one of the classes that I teach, there is this one shy boy.
None of the teachers could really talk eye to eye with him.
So in the end, it is either the teachers ignore him or the other way around.

As the form teacher, I think it is my job to break the ice.
I start with putting him at the front row so that I can easily reach to him if he has any problem in doing my work.
I praise him and tell the whole class whenever he does something good or answer correctly.
(His face is scarlet red whenever I praise him... Haha... you should see him)

Over the months, I believe I have managed to improve his level of confidence.
I used to hear his small voice when he tried to answer the questions that I threw to the whole class.
So, dengan nakalnye I imitate his voice.
Mestilah aku berdepan dengan risk yang amat tinggi, a) he changes to be more confident, or b) die menyampah dengan cikgu English sorang ni.
Amazingly, the next question, he eagerly stood up and answered very loudly.
"Wah, ni barulah macho!" Haha. Suke!

Ok Norzie, sudah2lah merapu, mananye part yang menyentuh hatimu itu?
Ok ok, baiklah... sila teruskan membaca.

Last Wednesday, I saw his drawing.
He immediately put everything under his table.
I asked him to take it out.
He did.
Woah, cantik gile I tell you. I believe he can be an artist tau!

So I asked him "Kenapa tak colour, ZJ?"
Him: Wa tade colour. Tade duit mao beli.

I went to my desk, took out RM5 note, gave it to him and said "Nah, buat beli colour. Now, simpan. English time"

Yesterday (Friday), I entered the class for relief.
He was colouring. I just let him be.
I asked the rest to do NILAM.
After a while, he stood up, went to the back of the classroom and pasted the drawing onto the noticeboard..
Mind you, it was not one but THREE of them!!

Picture one: Gundam.
Picture two: Some god fairy tale like drawing
Picture three: *Shocked*
It was me!
He sketched me wearing the baju kurung that I wore last Wednesday and written down there:
"Thank you, Cikgu Norzie"

And this shy boy made the decision to paste it on the noticeboard.
Classroom noticeboard?
I was flattered!

Oh man, how I wish I have a camera with me at that time!
He made my day! =D

I'm not proud of it but heh Baru Kau Tau!

As usual, my students looooove to curse. A lot.
They may not know about Subject Verb Agreement.
They may not know about Sentence Construction.
Heck, they don't even know to answer simple questions like.. "How old are you?"
But one thing for sure, they know how to curse... even to the teachers!
Demmit budak2 sekolah sekarang! =p

Like what happened yesterday in my remove class....

A boy suddenly punched a girl who sat next to him.
Simply because she did not want to give her answer to him about a simple quiz I asked them to do.
(Dasar gengste kecil!)
As the nanny of the classroom, I immediately yanked his hand before he could give her his second dose.
He stopped, turned around and guess what he said to me?

"CIBAI!!"

Oh Oh gengste kecil, dikau memang telah tersilap langkah!

With full force, I dragged him to the front of the classroom.
He struggled to stay at his own place.
I pulled him even harder.
Dah die terkepot kat depan kelas, he said "APA!?"

hah! aku pun naik hantu lah.

"APA KAU KATA? KOFO NIFI DAHFAH LAHFAH BOFODOHFOH. AFADAFA HAFATIFI NAKFAK(sumpah tak selera tgk budak ni wei haha) KAFATAFA AFAKUFU NIFI CIFIBAIFAI? FAKFAK YUFULAHFAH. BAFANGANGFANG! DAFASARFAR SEFETANFAN!"

Hah! puas hati aku!

The boy didn't blinked. He was stunned.
I swear you might even hear the sound of a dropped needle, if there was any.
The class was that quite.

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiingggggggggggggggg!" The bell rang.
I walked out of the classroom, ignoring all of them.
Marah sangat barangkali.

Today, amazing thing happened.
I didn't even hear any curse word from any of them.
They behaved, like a wolf in a cage.

Heh, sometimes you do have to fight fire with fire I guess.
You wanna try?

p/s: Anda perlu mempunyai kemahiran berbahasa 'f' jika nak tau apa makian di atas ye. Terima kasih.

Opppssss.....!

Today, while I was teaching, one of my students told me that I had a chalk mark on my left cheek.
So, I rub it off and continued explaining.

He stopped me once again just to tell me that the mark was still there. So, I took out a tissue and wiped it off.

Then, he stood up just to gesture it was his left, which meant my right cheek. So, I used the same tissue to clean my right cheek. This time around, his classmates started to giggle.

Bang! It occured to me today is April Fool.

The student just confirmed it by saying out loud, "April Fool, teacher! I is sorry!"

I was startled.
Not because of the joke, but actually that was the first sentence, fully in English (although there is an SVA mistake there) that he has ever spoken to me.
(Mind you, this is the last class in which more than half don't even know what to fill in when they see
NAME: ___________ during the exam).

Do you know want to know what was my response?

I did not laugh, not even smiled. I turned to my table and took my big cane, went to his table. With the most furious face that I could put on, I asked him to tell me what was his mistake.

The poor boy stuttered, " Sorry, teacher. Lenkali saya tak buat lagi. Gurau je tadi!

I said: "No. Kasi rotan satu!"

While the boy raised up his palm, he made a mistake by closing his eyes. I immediately used my chalk and gave chalk marks on both of his cheeks.

The whole class roared with laughter.

The boy immediately opened his eyes. I gestured to the whole class and in unison we yelled, "APRIL FOOL!!"

Hey You! Yes, You. You Float My Boat!

I re-read all of my previous posts that touched my workplace.
Full of crankyness, I would say.
Like they say, first year is always the toughest!
Indeed, it was!
Even though I was struggling hard to face the hurdles, I was not even close to scratching the surface of teaching.

2010 is a bit different.
I am more prepared!
I can say that I can sort of easily brush off emotions that I do not even want to taste a tinge of it.
I start to get better in indirectly straighten up the monkeys in my classes.
Almost every day, I manage to smile heartily to other teachers after I stepped out of the most troublesome class in my school.
How? I hear you ask.

Rule No. 1: Be pretty.
Every day, wear something pleasant to look at.
Spend some money for your wardrobe, your shoes, your bags.
Try to pamper yourself to a saloon once in a while.
Re-fresh yourself each time before you enter a class.
More importantly, try to look even more stunning for lower classes.
It works wonderfully, I assure you.
Even the dumbest and rudest student would listen to you.
Most (not all) teachers disregard this as important.
But heck, any other way to get their attention before captivating their eyes on you?
Besides, what's there to lose?
You'll look good, the attention is good :p

Rule No.2: Actions, not words.
I have a disciplne journal for each class that I teach.
I show it to the students the first time I enter the class.
I made them sign the agreement.
This serves as black and white reminder to the students and if needed, to be shown to their parents.

For instance, if the students are late,I lock both doors, then ignore them even if they scratch the doors.
Just teach the rest.
Then, as loud as possible, I warn the students that I'll record those who are late as playing truant.
And if they dare to not submit my works, I will scribble another record.
This should lower their heads down next time.

Same goes if the students keep unnecessarily talking while I am teaching.
I will firmly ask the students to leave the class.
Then, I warn the rest that I will record them as playing truant once they step out of the classroom.
Reason? I do not see them in my class.
Hence, such record is valid

Last year, I used to ask them for reasons, nagged them for good 20 minutes, ignored the innocents and for all I knew, they were still late and kept talking in my next class.
So, why bother to tell if they do not want to listen?
Show them, and they will comprehend.

Rule No. 3: Be generous
Not with money, but with extra marks.
I told my students that their homework carry 10% of their examination marks.
Neat works that complete with days, dates and indexes entitled them to a stamp.
Piles and piles of homework submitted on my desk.

I also emphasize the importance of their effort in my class.
For every little desirable gesture, be it volunteer to read or group work, I reward them with a sticker.
I make sure they understand 10 stamps/stickers = 1 extra mark in exam.
This will somehow boost up their confidence in trying to learn English.
And hey, this helps your GPMP too! hehehe =p

Rule No. 4: Love, Not Hate
Each time I scold a student, I make sure I explain to them afterwards.
I tell them them that I dislike their wrongdoings, not them.
It will not hurt to give them a pat at the back before you leave them as they are willing to listen to you.
This, I believe, will somehow melt their hearts.

Hah! What a long entry!
It's been a while, huh? hahaha
So, why am I writing this?
Just because... I can. Oh, how I love holidays! :p

Till then, toodles!

p/s: And.... taraaa.... I manage to downsize to size S! Oh man, life is good =D

Who Took the Cookie from the Cookie Jar?

I tried to not tell this to anyone. Because I'm afraid it will only get worse.
But I can't.

I hate most of my students. I despise them. Not only are they ridiculously dumb, but also ruthlessly rude. What with the attitude man??

I've tried everything. Pragmatic? Laid back? Autocratic? Be nice and listen? Ignore-and-I don't-care-about-you? You name it. Even if it works, it would be only temporary.
(Oh wait! I think ignore-and I-don't-care-about-you at least helps me to stay sane *big grin*)

Breath in. Breath out. Relax.

Come on... Ukenduittttttt Laydee!

.....

(Okay, insert positive word in your head)

Happy. Happy. Happy
(Is it working? No?)
Happy. Happy. Happy.
*the chanting goes on*

.....

I know Christmas is still few months away, but if you happen to see him loitering around your window at night, please send my wish -

" Dear Santa,
Please give me the biggest present ever. Please change my students' attitude. I do not mind they are THAT stupid. That is my job to fix. But please, with that attitude? I don't even think they can go far.

Desperate and badly tortured educator,
The Laydee"

Happy. Happy. Happy.
(Why is it still not working?)
Happy. Happy. Happy.

Oh Allah, my passion for teaching is wearing thin :(

No Worries, Mate!

Being a teacher in Malaysia does not spell a half day work with easy pay by the end of the month like most of the Malaysians assume.

It means dealing with aggressive students and parents, endless paperwork, handling a long list of co-curricular activities, tons of irrelevant chores and finally a tinge of teaching.
In short, Malaysian teachers are not teachers, but can be categorized as super multitasker if not supermen and superwomen.

However, there is a thin line between Saya yang menurut perintah dan Saya yang kena perintah.
I'm going to share some tips on how to be a selective worker.
Yes, I am still new in this profession, but can be considered as veteran in dealing with 'parasites'.

Saya yang menurut perintah:

• The list of responsibilities is written in black and white. And if you are lucky to work with professional individuals, your work will be assigned and elaborated in a formal meeting.
• The sheet is signed by the authorities. When I say authorities here, it means the KJs who have the power to strangle your neck if they do not like your quality of work, abuse your emotional by delaying your pay, 'forget' to approve you as DG41 and worst of all kick you out of the school.
• If you are being assigned by any of these authorities, you better gear up and finish off the work.
  
• Why? Put on your spectacles and re-read point no 2.

Saya yang kena perintah:

• The list of responsibilities is piled up on your shoulder verbally or written (yes, via an SMS or stick-on notes).
  
• It is not signed by the authorities. And of course, no formal meeting needed.
  
• You meet these self-proclaimed KJs at the canteen or while you're rushing to your next class. Worst of all, while you're washing your hands in the toilet.
• If they do not bring the task with them, they will ask you to go to their rooms before a certain time (depends on their availability)
• This, my friends, is Saya yang kena perintah. For your own sake, find creative ways to avoid these parasites.
  

*While washing my hands in the sink, rushing to the next class*

@!@ : Norzie... hah, nasib baik jumpa. TESL kan?
Me : Ye, kenapa kak?
@!@ : Ni, mintak tolong translatekan survey tu jadi BI. Tak banyak, 15 pages jek. Minggu depan nak gune nih. Alah, lupe nak bawak pulak, sebab tak sangke boleh jumpa kat tandas ni. nanti pegi bilik akak sebelum Hari Jumaat, siap sebelum Rabu yek. Tau, jangan lupe tau.
Me : *smiles sweetly* Ok, bebila free saya dtg. (Surely I won't pass by your room before Friday)
@!@ : Oh ye, lagi satu, esok tolong ganti akak jage bebudak latihan rumah sukan. Akak ada hal la, nak jaga kendarat orang kahwin.
Me : Esok ye? Nama saya ada ke dlm list tu?
@!@ : Takde, alah, tolong2 la ye. Akak ada hal la.
Me : *starts imagining myself turning into green, chopping her head off* Tengokla camana kak, esok saya ada latihan memandu. Tak boleh tukar sesuka hati, nanti lambat la saya dapat lesen. (No, this is a big fat lie. Mine is scheduled in March)
@!@ : Alah, try call la sekolah memandu tu, mane tau bole tukar.
Me : *squeezing, fit her in the nearest toilet bowl*
Ok, no worries. Ada kelas ni, saya pergi dulu

See... use your creativity to brush them off. Till then, toodles!

Slurpee Is The Way and Less Share For You.

So, how is my life since I started working?

I don't need to drive around to find a house to rent.
I don't need to fork out lots of money for my own bills.
I don't need to buy raw ingredients to feed myself.
I don't need to use my savings to buy basic necessities for my home.
And no, I don't have a sugar daddy.

So, what makes my life sounds so convenient?

Damn straight, you're right!
I've been sent back to my own hometown.
I am posted to a high school that just takes 10 minutes drive from my very own home.

So, am I happy?
YES:

• EDITED (I forgot to mention this?): My other half is just 3 hours away from me :D
  
• I could save tons of money for my car down payment.
• I save myself from the troubles of finding a house to rent, furniture etc.
• I don't have to pay the bills. At least for the time being.
• I can spend more time with my family.
• Which also means emergency cases will be attended a.s.a.p
  
• I am already familiar with the place. Be it my house or working area.
• All the staffs in my school are very kind and helpful.
  
• I only need to do the house chores and cooking during weekends.
• And oh, did I mention my sister has a small food stall in front of my house? =d

LOVE LIFE + FINANCIAL+ SECURITY + FOOD GALORE = SETTLED

NO:

• I was ready to be independent due to some personal reasons. When I mentioned about challenges in this entry, never once it crossed my mind that I will be sent back to my very own safe zone. I don't know about you, but this kind of scratches my self-confidence.
• My school is listed as the second last in the district for 2008 overall results. Numerous spot checks are being done by the authorities to the teachers. Why?
  
• Since this is the place where I grew up, I kind of knew the students' attitude in the school that I'm being posted to. And yeah, I am correct. It isn't a school, but just another place fulls of Ah Bengs and Ah Lians that proudly call themselves as gangsters or ahli kongsi gelap.
• Do you think gangsters have interest in study, namely anything - anything at all?
• So, if most of my clients are not interested to buy my products even though they are obliged to visit my shop everyday, am I actually selling anything?

EMOTIONAL =
I think I really need to increase the dose of Russell Peters for my woozy soul!

I miss Easy Way's Mango Puding with Rainbow Jelly

Three years back, I was so nervous about the university placement. I was hoping that I got New Zealand, didn't matter if it was in Wellington or Auckland. I thought that New Zealand would really suit my taste of scenery. I'd already browsed and secretly planned my ski trip during winter, sky diving or maybe bungee jumping during autumn. Oh man, I really want to witness the tranquil scenery. Not Australia. Not even once I thought of Australia. Finger crossed.

When I heard the announcement, my name was called for Macquarie University, which is in Sydney, Australia. I bit my lower lip to suck in my tears. I was shocked. Dumbfounded. Especially when I tilted my head around, I was never close with any of others whom being sent to Macquarie.

"Damn! How can I survive this" I thought to myself.

Few months passed, I was wrong. I was totally in love with Sydney. Indeed I still am. It really suits my soul, my style of studying, my social life, my tension-reliever needs (i.e.: shopping) and of course, I found my other half there. maybe, I wouldn't experienced all these if I was in New Zealand. Maybe I wouldn't have a chance to be part of Malaysian Students' Association and meet awesome friends with gorgeous attitudes there. During my second year there, I paid a 3 weeks visit to New Zealand. I was excited and ridiculously happy about the trip. I had the chance to fulfill my Year 1's secret plans there. It was maniacally exciting yet it seemed nothing there can beat my passion for Sydney, my second home. As much as I dragged my feet when I was leaving for Sydney from KLIA, I dragged my feet even more when I had to come back to Malaysia on December 14, 2007.

It proves to me that God has His own agenda after all. He knows what's best for me.

****

I guess this time around, He's testing me again. I am experiencing exactly the same hurdles of wind in my stomach. It is rumoured that B.ed TESOL Menengah postings will be announced tomorrow. I am nervous about it.

Wrong! I am damn nervous about it.

My other half and I put Johor as our choice but we'll never be sure of what it would be. The reason why I lay my finger on that southern part of Peninsular Malaysia's map is because I think it would be easier if I need any help from my sister (since my father passed away, she's my pillar of strength) as I am quite nervous in teetering my new life alone. Plus, we have been told that Johor is lacking of English teachers.

I can pull cable if I want. I was tempted when my mom asked me a few months back. My secondary teacher was willing to help me with the posting as he works in PPD Pontian now. But when I did some thinking, how selfish I could have been if I ever accept that offer. I am not attacking anybody here, it's just my humble opinion. If, I cause endless troubles to another person who is really in need to be in the school where I was posted, what will happen to that person? Let say, (s)he needs to take care of a sick mother but couldn't afford to do so because of the distance, what will happen to the mother?

Now, what I can do is wait and trying to be positive for the results tomorrow. I know if I don't get what I want, I will be severely disappointed and have a mood swing all day (alert to bb ;p). But I also know, the disappoinments will only be temporary.

Wherever I will be posted, I believe God has a great plans for me ahead. He is the one who really knows what I need after all. Plus, how could I know that the place is worse if I have never been there yet?

He has done once with my placement in Macquarie, He might do it again.